June 14

On this day nine years ago, Merle Haggard (1937-2016) is presented an honorary doctorate in fine arts by California State University, Bakersfield.

Mentioning this gives me a springboard to my real topic of the day: witty country and western song titles. Though I am not a huge fan of country music (especially in its latest and tamest iterations) I recognize that its lyrics come closest to being the best artistic expression of the thoughts of the average working-class American. It is also the genre that is least afraid to poke fun at itself and its audience as we can tell songs listed here.

“She’s Out Doing What I’m Here Doing Without”
“Come Out of the Wheatfield Nellie, You’re Going Against the Grain”
“Run for the Roundhouse Nellie (He Can’t Corner You There)”
Ever Since I Said ‘I Do,’ There’s a Lot of Things You Don’t”
“Tennis Must Be Your Racket ‘Cause Love Means Nothin’ To You”
“If I Had It To Do All Over Again, I’d Do It All Over You”
“Did I Shave My Legs for This? “
“Did I Shave My Back for This?”
“Get Off The Stove, Grandma, You’re Too Old To Ride The Range “
“I Fell Into A Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me “
I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain’t Used Up”
“I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me”
“If the Phone Don’t Ring Baby You’ll Know It’s Me”
“She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger”
“She Got the Gold Mine and I Got the Shaft”
She’s Got the Rhythm (And I Got the Blues)”
“It Took a Helluva Man to Take my Anne, but it Sure Didn’t Take Him Long “
“It Only Takes One Bar (To Make A Prison)”
Meet Me In the Gravel Pit, Honey, cuz I’m a Little Boulder There”

“Messed Up In Mexico, Living On Refried Dreams”
“We Used To Kiss On The Lips, But It’s All Over Now “
“I’m Going to Put a Bar in the Back of My Car and Drive Myself to Drink”
“I’d Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy”
“Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, Because I’m Kissing You Goodbye”
“Oh, I’ve Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You”
“I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like Having You Here”

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