A Merry PETA Christmas

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PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, is an advocacy group known for its attempts to outrage the sensibilities of the non-vegan majority. In 1996 they convinced the National Park Service to remove the reindeer from the annual Mall Christmas pageant and in 2003 members dressed as Santa and an elf confronted fast food company executives at home and coming out of a Christmas Eve church service. Those tasteful folks who gave us “Beef: It’s What’s Rotting in Your Colon” and “Your Mommy Kills Animals!” also ran a campaign in 2003 entitled “Santa Isn’t Coming This Christmas” in which they claimed that the glass of milk children leave out for the gift-bringer could give him more than he bargained for:

“Hey, kids! Is the milk that you’re leaving out for Santa sending his “North Pole” south? It could be that “Jolly Old Saint Nick” can’t get his jollies because milk is bringing him down. The fact is, milk can cause impotence by clogging the arteries and slowing down the blood flow to all organs, and hardening of the arteries can make it a blue, blue Christmas for the 30 million North American men who suffer from erectile dysfunction.”

A rather shriveled Santa Claus was portrayed peering down the front of his trousers and the kiddies were urged to turn to soy “milk” as a yummy alternative.

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