A bee can find a nectar-bearing patch of flowers from the polarization of skylight and information communicated to it in the hive. A bat can detect and capture a flying moth in complete darkness, using echo-locating high-frequency sound. A bird can navigate over thousands of miles of open water, using the position of the sun and stars and the earth’s magnetic field. It would surely be egotistic of us to deny the term intelligent to these creatures while retaining it for a creature that until quite recently built its wells in back of its outhouses. – Alan Cromer, Uncommon Sense: The Heretical Nature of Science, 1995
April 19
This unaired British comedy sketch meant for the series The Complete and Utter History of Britain will appeal only to that reader who took years of Latin in high school and floundered, as I did, with verb forms. It features an ancient British couple, after the Roman invasion, coming to terms with the new Latin language.
WIFE: Where been have you?
HUSBAND: Ah! Flosburga (vocative)! Well I, a cup of mead, with Egfrith, having been enjoying, I his place was about to having been making the action of being about to go, when …
WIFE: You me that expect to believe?
HUSBAND: It the honest truth is… I, the hour being late and the mead having been much finished, not another one by with or from Egfrith would have been about to have had, had he, fearing lest I, thinking myself treated ungenerously to have been, either would feel I ought to have with him been staying or …
WIFE (leaping up and packing suitcase): Of this that enough is! To my mother’s I, this the last straw being, you too far having gone, am home going.
(She leaves)
HUSBAND: Wait! (imperative) (He shakes his head sadly) This for a lark stuff.
(Pulls out bottle of mead from his coat) Fear I my wife me just understand me not does.
– Roger Wilmut, From Fringe to Flying Circus, 1980
April 18
Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people. – Karl Marx, “A Contribution to the Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right,” 1844
A true opium of the people is a belief in nothingness after death – the huge solace of thinking that for our betrayals, greed, cowardice, murders we are not going to be judged. – Czesław Miłosz, “The Discreet Charm of Nihilism”, 1998
April 17
Today is Easter. In my home church of St Margaret’s Anglican in Winnipeg, and in many other churches, they are preaching this homily of St John Chrysostom as they do annually.
If any be devout and God-loving, let him enjoy this fair and radiant triumph. If any be a good and wise servant, let him enter rejoicing into the joy of his Lord. If any be weary of fasting, let him now receive his reward. If any have labored from the first hour, let him receive today his rightful due. If any have come at the third hour, let him feast with thankfulness. If any have arrived at the sixth hour, let him in no wise be in doubt, for in no wise shall he suffer loss. If any be delayed even until the ninth hour, let him draw near, doubting nothing, fearing nothing. If any have tarried even until the eleventh hour, let him not be fearful on account of his lateness; for the Master, Who is jealous of His honor, receiveth the last even as the first. He giveth rest to him that cometh at the eleventh hour, as well as to him that hath labored from the first hour; and to the last He is merciful, and the first He pleaseth; to the one He giveth, and to the other He bestoweth; and He receiveth the works, and welcometh the intention; and the deed He honoureth, and the offering He praiseth. Wherefore, then, enter ye all into the joy of your Lord; both the first and the second, receive ye your reward. Ye rich and ye poor, with one another exult.
Ye sober and ye slothful, honor the day. Ye that have kept the fast and ye that have not, be glad today. The table is full-laden, delight ye all. The calf is fatted; let none go forth hungry. Let all enjoy the feast of faith, receive all ye the riches of goodness. Let no one bewail his poverty, for the universal kingdom hath been revealed. Let no one weep for his transgressions, for forgiveness hath dawned from the tomb. Let no one fear death, for the death of the Saviour hath set us free. He hath quench by it, He hath led hades captive, He Who descended into hades. He embittered it, when it tasted of His flesh. And foretelling this, Isaiah cried: “Hades,” he saith, “was embittered when it encountered Thee below.” It was embittered, for it was abolished. It was embittered, for it was mocked. It was embittered, for it was slain. It was embittered, for it was overthrown. It was embittered, for it was fettered. It received a body and encountered God. It received earth, and met heaven. It received that which it saw, and fell to what it did not see. O death, where is thy sting? O hades, where is thy victory?
Christ is risen, and thou art cast down.
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen.
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice.
Christ is risen, and life flourisheth.
Christ is risen, and there is none dead in the tombs.
For Christ, being risen from the dead, is become the first-fruits of them that have fallen asleep. To Him be glory and dominion unto the ages of ages. Amen.
April 16
God makes a portion of each generation intelligent well above the average, and despite the best efforts of our state school systems, His handiwork is hard to suppress. The task of the modern progressive university is therefore to corrupt and unbalance the intelligent; to pit their minds against their common sense. – David Warren, “Essays in Idleness”, 2016
April 15
From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world. – Saint Arnold (or Arnulf) of Metz, (582-645), the patron saint of brewers
Let all who desire to be Christians know that it is incumbent upon them to manifest the virtue of temperance; that drunken sots have no place among Christians, and cannot be saved until they amend their ways, until they reform from their evil habits. – Martin Luther, (1483-1546)
“Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!” – Homer Simpson, “New Kid on the Block”, The Simpsons, 1993
April 14
Dancing is not an art but a pastime, and should, therefore, be freed from the too-burdensome regulations wherewith an art is encumbered. An art is a highly-specialised matter hedged in on every side by intellectual policemen, a pastime is not specialised, and never takes place in the presence of policemen, who are well known to be the sworn enemies of gaiety. For example, theology is an art but religion is a pastime: we learn the collects only under compulsion, but we sing anthems because it is pleasant to do so. Thus, eating oysters is an art by dint of the elaborate ceremonial including shell-openers, lemons, waiters and pepper, which must be grouped around your oyster before you can conveniently swallow him, but eating nuts, or blackberries, or a privily-acquired turnip—these are pastimes.
– James Stephens, “There Is A Tavern In Our Town”, Here Are Ladies, 1914
Sluggards Beware
Sluggard-wakers and dog-whippers
On the 17th April 1725 , John Rudge bequeathed to the parish of Trysull, in Staffordshire, twenty shillings a year, that a poor man might be employed to go about the church during sermons and keep the people awake; also to keep dogs out of church. A bequest by Richard Dovey, of Farmcote, dated in 1659, had in view the payment of eight shillings annually to a poor man, for the performance of the same duties in the church of Claverley, Shropshire. In the parishes of Chislet, Kent, and Peterchurch, Herefordshire, there are similar provisions for the exclusion of dogs from church, and at Wolverhampton there is one of five shillings for keeping boys quiet in time of service.
Pictured above is a sluggard-waker and his pole with which he prodded the drowsy parishioners.
April 12
They thought they had seen suffering! Tolstoy and Korolenko shed tears of indignation that from 1876 to 1904, the tsars executed 486 people and then, from 1905 to 1908, another 2,200! But from 1917 to 1953, the Soviets on average doubled that total every week. – David Bentley Hart, The Dream-Child’s Progress and Other Essays, 2017