“All I Want for Christmas is You” is a piece of holiday music sung by Mariah Carey that holds a number of significant records for popularity. Written and first issued in 1994, it was not until 2019 that it reached No. 1 on the hit parade, the longest journey to the top by any song. According to Wikipedia: “With an estimated sales of over 14 million copies worldwide, “All I Want for Christmas Is You” is the best-selling holiday song by a female artist, and one of the best-selling physical singles in music history. The song is certified 12 times platinum by RIAA, denoting sales of 12 million copies in the United States, becoming the first and only holiday song to accomplish this feat. By 2022, it had reportedly earned $80 million in royalties.”
Though I personally loathe the tune, it has achieved iconic status and has evoked this 2015 piece of adulation in Atlantic magazine: “Carey’s masterpiece is an incredible feat of philosophical subterfuge. Christmas is a time of material and affection-based excess, yet the song is narrowly focused on just one thing: getting to be with a specific person, e.g., you. It rejects the idea of love in general in favor of love in particular, simultaneously defying and defining pop-music conventions. With infinitely more economy of expression and undoubtedly catchier lyrics, ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ is a sort of Hegelian dialectic of Christmastime desire, taking the conflicting notions of abundance and specificity and packaging them neatly into an earworm for the generations.”
Hegelian dialectic, my Aunt Fanny. Here is my favourite iteration of the song:
This popular novelty tune written by Donald Gardner in 1946. Gardner was a music teacher who noticed that most of his young pupils were missing their baby teeth and speaking with a lisp. With that observation as inspiration, Gardner went home and wrote the words and music in about half an hour. As a recording, it was a success in 1948 for Spike Jones and the City Slickers, selling almost 2,000,000 copies in two months. The words were sung in a child’s voice by George Rock, one of the Slickers. Danny Kaye, the Andrews Sisters and Nat King Cole all recorded it and it was a Top Ten hit again in 1955 when it was sung by seven-year-old Barry Gordon.
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, My two front teeth, see my two front teeth. Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth, Then I could wish you “Merry Christmas.”
It seems so long since I could say, “Sister Susie sitting on a thistle.” Gosh, oh gee, how happy I’d be If I could only whistle.
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, My two front teeth, see my two front teeth Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth, Then I could wish you “Merry Christmas.”
At Christmas certain animals become more human, or express their joy at the birth of Christ in unmistakable fashion.
There was an old Scottish belief that, at the exact hour of the Saviour’s birth, bees in their hive emitted a buzzing sound . According to a Breton folk-tale the ox and the ass can converse for a single hour, between eleven and twelve on Christmas night. At the same hour, in German folk-lore, all cattle atand up; another version, however, makes them devoutly kneel.
Among the animals which folk-thought has brought into connotion with the Christ-Child is the horse. A Russian legend tells us that the flesh of the horse is deemed unclean because when the infant Saviour was hidden in the manger, the horse kept eating the hay under which the babe was concealed, whereas the ox not only would not touch it, but brought back hay on its horns to replace what the horse had eaten. From a Spanish-American miracle-play, we learn that the oxen and asses around the manger kept the little babe warm with their breath.
In Ireland the following folk-beliefs obtain regarding the ass and the cow: Joseph and Mary fled into Egypt with the infant Jesus. Since that date the ass has had a cross on its back. This same ass returned to Nazareth seven years later with them on its back, travelling in the night, since which time it has been the wisest of all animals; it was made sure-footed for Christ to ride on his triumphal entry into Jerusalem, and it remains the most sure-footed of all beasts. The ass and cow are looked upon as sacred, because these animals breathed upon the infant Jesus in the manger and kept the child warm. Old women sprinkle holy water on these animals to drive away disease.
From The Child and Childhood in Folk-Thought by Alexander F. Chamberlain, 1895.
ChatGPT is an Artificial Intelligence program that generates text in response to plain-language questions. It has been much in the news as a source of future trouble for university professors on the lookout for Al-written essay assignments and knowledge workers whose livelihood it may threaten. In an idle moment I asked ChatGPT, “What is an interesting Christmas custom?” Here is its reply:
There are many interesting Christmas customs around the world, but here’s one that may be unfamiliar to some: In Iceland, there is a tradition called “Jolabokaflod” or “Christmas Book Flood”. This tradition involves giving books as gifts on Christmas Eve and then spending the evening reading them while enjoying chocolates or other sweets.
The tradition dates back to World War II, when paper was one of the few things not rationed in Iceland. As a result, books became a popular gift item, and the tradition stuck even after the war ended. Today, many Icelandic publishers release new books in the months leading up to Christmas, and bookstores across the country are packed with people searching for the perfect gift.
This unique Christmas custom has helped Iceland become one of the most literate nations in the world, with a love of reading deeply ingrained in its culture. It’s a tradition that highlights the importance of learning and the joy of spending time with a good book, making a it an interesting and meaningful holiday custom.
As an aside, CHatGPT is well acquainted with the author of this website: Bowler is a frequent media commentator on matters related to Christmas, appearing on radio and television programs to discuss the history and traditions of the holiday. He is widely regarded as one of the world’s leading experts on the history of Christmas and is a popular speaker at conferences and events around the world. You can’t say fairer than that.
In 2012 an Arizona gun club caused a stir when it raised funds by charging folks $10 to have their photo taken next to Santa Claus and a firearm of their choice. Families could choose from an arsenal — pistols, semiautomatic AR-15s, even grenade launchers – and there were lineups willing to hand over their cash to do so.
This move tapped into an American tradition of associating Santa with the sales of weaponry as these images testify.
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. – Dave Barry, “Peace on Earth but No Parking”
The Church does not superstitiously observe days, merely as days, but as memorials of important facts. Christmas might be kept as well upon one day of the year as another; but there should be a stated day for commemorating the birth of our Savior, because there is danger that what may be done on any day, will be neglected. – Samuel Johnson in James Boswell, The Life of Samuel Johnson
This holiday which only reminds me of the birth of a Jew who gave the world debilitating and devitalizing theories. – Benito Mussolini, December 1941
I know many Americans think of Christmas as a single day and like to clear away the trappings of the season well before the fifth of January, but that is sheer barbarism, if you ask me, morally only a few steps removed from human sacrifice, cannibalism, or golf. – David Bentley Hart, The Dream-Child’s Progress and Other Essays
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature responsible men wear neckties made out of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw eggs and cottage cheese in them. – P.J. O’Rourke
I return your seasonal greeting card with contempt. May your hypocritical words choke you and may they choke you early in the New Year, rather than later. – Professor Kennedy Lindsay, a Vanguard member of the Northern Assembly, returning a Christmas card from the Minister for Foreign Affairs, Dr Garret FitzGerald, in the Irish Times
So if a Christian is touched only once a year, the touching is still worth it, and maybe on some given Christmas, some quiet morning, the touch will take. – Harry Reasoner
The Christmas Truce of 1914 is famous but it was not the first Yuletide cessation of hostilities. The Educational News, of Edinburgh, Scotland, in its issue of December 25, 1914, recorded a striking incident which occurred during the Franco-German War of 1870. An American editor who reprinted it said, “It is not impossible for history to repeat itself, and, perhaps, a similar incident to that described below may have happened during Yuletide, 1914.” And indeed it had.
It was late on Christmas Eve. All day long the troops had been engaged in heavy fighting; the fire had been unceasing and the artillery deadly. Now, as darkness enfolded them, the soldiers, tired with their hard day’s work and weary of games in the trenches, were falling asleep, oblivious of the terrible conditions around them. Not many remained awake except the sentries, whose constant footsteps were heard regularly passing to and fro.
Only a hundred yards separated the two armies, and there was fear of treachery in the night watches. As it neared midnight, a young Frenchman rose up quietly and stealthily from his uncomfortable position, left his rifle lying in the trench, and started to cross the intervening space, after giving the password to the guards. They would have held him back, but he refused to stay, although warned of the extreme danger he was running into. The sentries were at a loss to understand his action, but he pleaded hard for liberty for an hour. Picking his way cautiously, the soldier crawled towards the German ranks, and by careful maneuvering arrived within a few yards of their trenches before being noticed by them. Suddenly, however, a sentry leaped, as it were, out of the darkness, demanding in gruff tones to know the business of the midnight intruder. For an answer, the Frenchman stood erect. Then quietly, yet very sweetly, in the stillness of the night, he commenced to sing. His voice rang out clear, and the Germans listened while he continued the beautiful carol:”Nöel, Nöel, Nöel, Nöel, Born is the King of Israel.”
The sentry remained spellbound; the Germans lying in their wet trenches awakened from their slumber, listened eagerly to the singer reminding them of the first Christmas joy. The Frenchman finished the verse and chorus, then, as quietly as he had come, turned back towards his own station. Passing the sentries, he lay down in his trench tired out, but happier because he had given a message of cheer to his enemies.
Not long afterwards the sentries on duty outside the French trenches, hearing footsteps approaching, challenged a soldier coming toward them, whereupon a German halted, and in a melodious voice, began their version (which is reputed to be the prettiest) of the carol which the Frenchman had just sung.
The Frenchmen listened intently while the German continued the carol. The words they could not understand, but they knew the melody, and that it spoke of Christmas. As the singer completed the first verse the Frenchmen in the trenches rose up in a body, and as with one voice joined heartily in the chorus.
Silence reigned again for a few moments. when the singing stopped. Then, as if in echo, the answering chorus came from the German lines. The Frenchmen listened with rapt attention, and as soon as it was finished, started the chorus again on their side. The Germans took up the refrain, and together both armies sang eagerly on Christmas morning the carol which tells so beautifully of the first Christmas Day.
Historians disagree on the carols that were sung. I’m very doubtful that French and Prussian troops serenaded each other with an English song “The First Noël” and am inclined to believe that either they both sang versions of Silent Night” or that the French contributed “Cantique de Noël” and the Germans replied with “Von Himmel Hoch”.
A remarkable protest took place in Cologne Cathedral during the 2013 Christmas morning service. A woman who had been sitting in the pews suddenly leapt onto the altar, bared her breasts, and revealed a message scrawled across her torso: “I Am God.”
Closer inspection determined that she was not, as she had claimed, the Supreme Being but was, in fact, Josephine Witt, a member of the international provocation group FEMEN, upset at the conservative hierarchy of the Catholic Church. After her arrest, Witt told reporters: “Cologne is the capital of Catholics in Germany, and [Cardinal] Meisner stands for a very conservative orientation.”
Cardinal Meisner was unfazed, saying “I’m 80 years old. I’ve lived through so much: first the Nazi period, then the entire Communist period – something like this can’t shock me after that.”
An outraged parishioner who slapped Witt as she was pulled from the altar was fined 100 euros while Witt was found guilty of disturbance of the free practice of religion – a crime which could have seen her imprisoned for up to three years but she got off with a mere 1,200 euro penalty.
In 2014 a topless blonde, inscribed with the message “God Is Woman” and shouting anti-Catholic slogans, tried to steal the image of the Baby Jesus from the Nativity scene erected by the pope in front of St. Peter’s Basilica. The act was a protest against “the centuries-old Vatican stance on women’s rights for [their] own body and reproductive function.”
The perpetrator was a member of the international feminist provocation squad named FEMEN famous for their bare-bosomed stunts drawing attention to their opposition to various manifestations of the patriarchy. The 2014 kidnapping attempt was part of FEMEN’s anticlerical “Massacre of the Innocents” campaign, which called for the theft of Baby Jesus from crèches around the world. “The maniacal desire to control women’s fertility is a common trait of many religions, National Socialism, nationalism and other antediluvian, anti-humanist ideologies. Abortion is sacred,” said the group. Three years later the group again staged a raid on the papal nativity scene but, as in 2014, was unable to make off with the Bambino.
Have you ever wondered what happens to the image of the Baby Jesus when it is not in the Nativity scene displayed during the Christmas season. Probably not; you have much better things to do with your life. But I can, thanks to diligent research of my part, and I am gong to share a couple of examples today.
In the church of San Domenico in Naples a creche is set up in a grotto; it contains every figure of the Nativity scene except the bambino. On Christmas Eve a procession emerges from the church and a woman from the crowd places the missing baby in the hands of the Dominican priest who then places it in the crib. All then kneel and sing the old lullabye “Dormi, Benigne Jesu, in dulci somno”. After Christmas the bambino is kept by a family in the congregation.
A similar ceremony is held in New Mexico at the Jemez Indian pueblo (above). A pious couple is chosen as “padrino” or godparents to the baby Jesus. On Christmas Eve at 11:30 the padrinos and a procession go to church where the padre emerges with the statue and gives it to the madrina. They process home while guns fire in salute; at their home the baby is placed on a small altar. Candles are lit, prayers are said and the godmother then leads the procession to return the baby to the church, reciting the Hail Mary in the native dialect. The crowd enters the church at midnight for mass, after which the baby is venerated on the altar and then given to the seated madrina. All pass by her and kiss the “Bethlehem Babe” while hymns are sung. After the ceremony the baby is placed in its crib until the Three Kings Day.
