Christmas Every Day

If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup. 
– – -Norm Crosby

He who slings mud generally loses ground. 
– – -Adlai Stevenson (who was beaten twice for the presidency by Dwight Eisenhower)

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
– -Dorothy Parker

One prefers, of course, on all occasions to be stainless and above reproach, but, failing that, the next best thing is unquestionably to have got rid of the body.

— PG Wodehouse

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
– – -George Burns

If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says : “I’m cheap!”
– -Delta Burke 

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. 
– – George Carlin

We end our month of attending to the wisdom of Homer Simpson with this comparison of the Sage of Springfield with the Greek of the same name.

“I felt a surge of power, like God must feel, when he’s holding a gun.”

“When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!”