Christmas Every Day

If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly . . . very slowly. 
– – -Gypsy Rose Lee

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself
— Oscar Wilde

You were wild once. Don’t let them tame you.

— Isadora Duncan

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
– – -Bill Maher

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
– – -Jon Winokur

Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home. 
– – -Phyllis Diller

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do what you want done because he wants to do it.

— Dwight D. Eisenhower

You’ve got to take the bitter with the sour. 
– – -Samuel Goldwyn

“No one asked you to be happy. Get to work.”

— Colette

“Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just yell, ‘Don’t abuse me like your parents abuse you!’ Then call children’s services and tell them you saw this bully crying in the bathroom and you’re worried about him. Bam! He just got moved to a foster home.”

— Eugene Mirman