Asked by an editor to list his qualifications for the ideal woman, Ring Lardner demanded:
1. Lockjaw
2. Hereditary obesity
3. Shortness of breath
4. Falling arches
5. Mechanical engineering
6. Draftsmanship
7. Absolutely fireproof
8. Day and night elevator service
9. Laundry sent out before 8:30 a.m. will be returned the same day.
10. Please report to the management any incivility on part of employees.
– Ring Lardner, Vanity Fair, 1926