Christmas Every Day

At a meeting of the college faculty, an angel suddenly appears and tells the head of the philosophy department, “I will grant you whichever of three blessings you choose: Wisdom, Beauty—or ten million dollars.” Immediately, the professor chooses Wisdom. There is a flash of lightning, and the professor appears transformed, but he just sits there, staring down at the table. One of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.” The professor says, “I should have taken the money.” – Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein, Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar, 2007

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this. – Emo Phillips, HBO comedy special, 1987